I: The Beginning / by Donald Juel Griffin

This is the beginning of a new chapter of my life, and thus, I feel it necessary to begin documenting the things that occur and the moments that I deem pivotal. Up until this point, my life has been a culmination of events, situations, and occurrences that have lead to me evolving into a person who looks back. I lived my life constantly trying to avoid the mistakes of the past that, I've recently realized, were not my 'fault'...shit just happens. This hasn't been been an easy existence, but it's an existence that I would not trade for the world.

 

I am a planner. I pre-planned everything from my high school graduation to my own funeral. I have a knack for planning events, but struggle when it comes to introspective planning. I have these rare moments when I'm able to look at myself free of the many mistakes I've made, and see the person that I want to be. More times than not, my judgement is clouded by the heat of the moment and the shadows of the past. I've come to a place where I'm beginning to realize that George Santayana was right, those who cannot remember the past ARE doomed to repeat it but it's become evident to me, though, that those who fail to move past the mistakes of yesterday are equally as damned. I'm taking strides to move past the point of living to avoid the mistakes of yesterday, and instead trusting that I've becoming a pretty smart cookie over these past eighteen years. Grandmother didn't raise a idiot and Sister would have told me long ago were that the case, believe me.

 

Moving forward, I must take time to realize where I am at this point in my life and what it took to get here. The loss of a parent, and abandonment by the other. The generosity of grandparents who love without question. The sacrifice of a sister determined to make life grand, not only for herself, but for all those around her. And lastly, but certainly not least: the friendship of those who are like none other. For these things, I am eternally grateful and ever-conscious of the ways they've shaped me. They've made me the person I am today. Now let's see what I can do with it.

 

I'm Donald Juel Griffin and this is my story.